I am mad. We’re leaving for baseball at 6:45 am. I tell him to make sure Baby’s camping chair thing is packed. There’s two in the car, but that’s for me and kid 2. Before we pull out of the drive way I ask again if he packed the babay’s chair. He says yes (with … Continue reading
Category Archives: Kidney Failure
Covid Pandemic – A week in the life of a working caregiver wife and mom
It’s been an exhausting 7-days. Just trying to purge the overwhelming feelings. I feel like I have been holding my breath waiting for it to get better. Now that the water is running and the dialysis machine has been serviced I feel thought I would feel like a weight has been lifted. I don’t feel … Continue reading
HemoDialysis – Bleeding Out
It’s another post where I need to purge. Another day where End Stage Renal Disease (ESRD) is effecting my mental, emotional and physical strength as a caregiver wife and working mom. WARNING: This is another post that is dealing with blood. This may be a trigger to some. He had another bleed out. This is … Continue reading
Toilet Talks
I go to do my morning business in the boys’ bathroom because Franklin’s on the machine and his dialysis tubes and stuff block our ensuite. I could climb over and squeeze by the rolling table that holds the prepared gauze pads “pillows”, 2 strips of tape cut to size to adhere the 2 pillows to … Continue reading
2020 - new decade. new me / I love it & I hate it / Kidney Failure / Mom Badge / self love / The Grind / Till death do us part - We're Married
Covid Pandemic – Working Mom – Caregiver Wife
I’d love to write a more eloquent post that starts with how I’m feeling, the different reasons why, and then conclude with some profound insight. The reality is it’s a shit storm over here and today my rose coloured sunglasses fell off. I am PMS’ing hard and have noticed my patience and ‘go with the … Continue reading
Dialysis During Covid-19
When Covid-19 started I was worried like most people about food. I wanted to make sure I had enough food to feed my family. We didn’t hoard food (not enough money or space), but we did buy a case of water, eggs, bags of chips, cheese, bread, milk, batteries, cookies, wine, fruits, veggies, and meats. … Continue reading
Overloaded – Him
Just want to get down the dates, just in case I need to refer back. The anxiety, worry, fear and stress is a combination I know all too well. He last did dialysis Monday. Today is Friday. For anyone who knows dialysis, this is not good. Monday – dialysis Tuesday – off day Wednesday – … Continue reading
2019 Christmas Prep
It’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. Supposed to be… This is just going to be an emotional dump. No structure or order. I just want cry for a minute and then pull myself back up. I can’t take any time off during my probation at work. I’m exhausted when I … Continue reading
Dialysis Machine Breakdown
Like a fortune teller, I see my challenges ahead in the crystal ball of the dialysis machine’s banshee-like screaming. Not the typical alerting blips and beeps. It’s long and loud. This-thing-is-fuuucked-up! The-next-few-days-will-be-filled-with-anxiety!! I immediately start doing calendar math. Friday was an off day Saturday the machine stopped working and the machine is flashing error codes … Continue reading
I Just Want to Be Happy
I’ve been home trying to get myself together. I haven’t left the house in a few days and starting to get a little stir crazy, but not so much that I want to venture outside. I don’t want to deal with people nor spend any money since I’m not working and it makes my heart … Continue reading
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