I wanted to title this dreams, commitment and accomplishments, but I wanted to truly commit. This may sound weird, but the title gives me some anxiety. Like, if I can’t make it I’m a failure. My preferred title gives me hope that I will try my best, but if I don’t make it then “oh, well”. Feels more do-able, but also the over achiever in me says I’m half ass’ing new years resolutions. The logical emotions say commit and set goals, but don’t beat yourself up if you slip. Pick yourself up and keep trying until you make it. There is no failure. There’s only learning what to do and what not to do. If I don’t give up then one day I will accomplish what I am committed to achieving. Setting my intentions for 2020 on my blog is giving me some seious feels. Not sure if it’s anxiety or stress. Why do it then? Because this is for me. This is for me to get those whispers out of my mind and heart and make them real. I want to commit, but also scared to commit. Crazy? Ugh. Not sure why new year should be a big deal to make such a hoopla to make a change. Every day is an opportunity to make a change. So, really, the list below is what I want to get done and it just happens to coincide with me writing it on new years eve 😂

• Continue with intermittent fasting. I had no will power during the Christmas season and ate whatever whenever I wanted. I paid the price with some crazy heartburn I’ve never experienced before. I thought it was a possible heart attack! But I’m just getting old I think.

• Recommit to prepping my roasted veggies and salads for lunch.
• Recommit to moving more. I.e. My walks at lunch, complete my 9 remaining Orange Theory sessions
• Recommit to game night or family outing with the boys. With trying to balance the time the kids spend with my dad, still having them home, their activities, work and chores I need to better manage the time.
• Commit to a monthly (or at minimum a quarterly) meet up with my cousins. I’m lucky to have some amazing family, but other than my sister-cousin I don’t know the real deal with the others. Some surface stuff, but want to know the struggles and triumphs.
• Further the friendships of the few ladies I met and actually not mind their company. It’s rare as it, so when I’ve finally connect with them and they extend their hand beyond the baseball environment, I need to explore that.

• Make more memories with the true friends I’ve known for years and have not let me go even when I get caught up with my own life that I have not given the time and attention they so richly deserve.
• Organizing my house. The house is chaos. I am so mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted I’ve buried my head in the sand so I don’t lose my sanity. One space. One room. One day at a time.
• Disconnect from the electronics more. Read a real book. Meditate – i cant even do the 2-minute relaxation breathing app on my fitbit

• Be there for my sister-cousin and help with her wedding. I always remember her asking me if I wanted to be part of her wedding. “I know it’s hard for you to say no and you take on too much…”. Coming from anyone else I’d probably get a bit pissy, but I know she was coming without judgment and only love.
• Write up and sell my crochet pattern I made

I’m sure there more, but the list already feels overwhelming. Right now those are the dreams. Next will be to put some dates and a plan together.

I can do this!!