I love it & I hate it / Kidney Failure / Till death do us part - We're Married

Re-read. Re-live. Re-feel.


I love looking through my stats to see what people are reading. And then I read some of them again. One post in particular that came up Feel The Emotions – Do Not Ignore. I wrote it a couple of years ago and it was great to re-read and re-live the feelings. On a flip, I didn’t re-feel. I’m at a different place. I don’t have excitement to feel. I’m filled with so much stress and unhappiness that I now long for feeling nothing. It’s now deep aching sense of dread every day. The weekend goes by way too quickly and worry is never deeply buried. It’s all bubbled up and my brain never stops.

Reading the old post reminds me I need to re-commitment to achieve the happiness I’ve been writing about for years now. I wrote that 2 years ago, and only recently wrote about if I am Hitting a Rough Patch or is it Depression?

As I get older achieving inner peace is not the hippy dippy ideology I used to think it is. It truly is what will lead to happiness and contentment that I so badly need. Now to find a way to achieve it.

I wish I wrote when I’m happy. There’s been tons of moments. But life is good and I’m in the moment. I tend to write when things are not so great as a cathartic way to rid the overflowing emotion to a bearable level. So, as I re-read, re-live and re-feel each blog post I seem like a mserable SOB 😂

This rough patch is longer than acceptable, but I truly believe it will get better….one day.

On a side note, I am thankful to those who have been reading. Browse, read some more of my blog posts and share. Especially now that I’ve monotized it. Made $0.08 so far! The dream maybe reality one day.

Yes this post is all over the place. Sort of like my thoughts and emotions. I saw the stats, read the post, felt moved to write, and now here we are.

Now to re-read some oldies, but goodies. May I suggest a few?

The Beginning of this Lifetime Journey

Can a woman really have it all? -work, kids, husband, home, me

Love yourself

The Birth

Never fail go-to recipe Extra Chocolatey Banana Muffins – No Butter, No Milk, No Nuts

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