Kidney Failure / Mom Badge / The Grind / Till death do us part - We're Married

Tranquillity Before The Chaos

Although I am working from home, I still wake up at the usual time. 😔 I would have slept longer my stupid alarm didn’t go off. And of course I set it to ring 3 times for 1 minute at 5 minute intervals from the initial start. It was charging in another room and is loud. I could get up and turn it off or try and sleep through it. I try and sleep through it because I don’t want to get out of the warm covers. After the first minute I still sleepy and the 5 minute quiet lulls me back to sleep. But the next one is harder to sleep through as I start thinking of the day that lays ahead. By the third one it’s over. Baby wakes up, my body is awake and my mind won’t shut up. I put baby to back to sleep. I do my morning #1 & #2 and I try to sleep. Nope. I get my phone to try out the mindful meditation and positivity app. As I am cocooned in darkness and silence I try to push the stressful thoughts of work aside and relish the tranquility before the chaos that awaits me.

The hubby has Cardiac Clinic and I’m working from home to watch the baby while he goes to the hospital. I don’t want baby going with him and catching hospital germs and sickness. Boss lady was amazing about it. 😲 I originally asked if I could take an extended break over lunch so hubby could drop baby off during his appointment and pick him up after he’s done. If that was not do-able I was OK with that and would work from home (wfh) and take vacation hours. She suggested the work from home day and to take personal time to cover the couple of hours to watch baby. What?! I almost cried. I was so thankful to save my vacation time to help with the kids over the summer. I hate wasting so many days to cover all his appointments and sadly hospital emergency stays. It’s never a vacation. Those allocated hours ate not used to fly off on a plane and recharge myself. They are used to provide caregiver duties. 😜😯😐😣😒😕😔😤😭😨😬😩😡😳😠 (too many emoticons? They all seem to speak to how I feel about it)

Turns out my big kids have a PA day from school also. Yah!😬 So, it’s feeding 3 mouths instead of 1, from lovely baby and me tine to hearing about dumb video games or YouTube videos and policing time on the electronics, and flipping switches to critically think between work deliverables and mommy mode. Chaos. Until hubby comes home and takes them out so I can focus on work in quiet. His “break” is going to his heart doctor appointment. There’s the kidney clinic coming up so he has another break around the corner 😂

For now I enjoy the silence and writing to remember this feeling of tranquility of silence in my mind and my environment. 😍


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