maternity leave / Till death do us part - We're Married

Life At This Moment – Overwhelming


There’s lots to write about.  I do want to write about life with newborn baby so I can remember, but haven’t had the time.  Even now I don’t have the time, but I am so overwhelmed with emotions that I HAVE TO get it out.  Writing it will help.  Well, I hope it does.  It has helped in the past.  So, here goes.

Franklin had a mild heart attack 2-weeks ago followed by an angioplasty surgery.  The operating team discovered a clog of 95% in one of the arteries which resulted in a stent being put in and several new meds.  I still remember the day.  He walked through the door from golfing a couple of hours earlier then usual.  He still had his golf shoes on!  He went upstairs saying he didn’t feel good.  He had been saying for the past couple of weeks prior to coming home from golf that he wasn’t feeling “right”.  I assumed it was due to the dialysis he did the night before and being under-dialyzed.

The next day we had a dentist appointment for one kid while simultaneously the other kid had an activity.  We dropped off the activity kid and the rest of us went to the dentist appointment.  Franklin double parked while I got out to run M to the dentist as we were running a little late.  He and baby drove around to find a parking spot.  While at the dentist to have his tooth looked at (his molar was coming down when the first one had not come out yet) I waited in the car with baby.  Franklin went to check in on him.  As he came back out to give me an update he said –

Franklin – They will have to pull his tooth.

Me – Poor guy.  He was worried that they would pull his tooth.

Franklin – I felt a big pressure on my chest just now.  Something is not right.  I think I should go to the hospital and get it checked out.

Me – You know your body.  Listen to it.

execute-like-theres-no-tomorrow-strategize-like-there-will-be-quote-1

I’m now in my emergency mode where I can strategize all the moving pieces and call in all the love from my family to help.  But, he said he would be ok.  He’ll drive himself.  I had newborn baby with us who is exclusively breastfed and we both did not want to bring a newborn into an emergency room to wait for hours and be exposed to God knows what, we needed to pick up L from his activity and after picking up M from dentist, drop him off to his activity.  It was 9:05 AM.  sigh.

We got M and went home.  I only had enough time to drop Franklin off before having to drive to pick up L and then drop off M.  At this point Baby is starting to stir. It’s been a few hours.  I head over to my parents’ house to wait for M to be done and to hear more from Franklin.

He’s been in emergency for a few hours now.  His BP is high.  He’s gone for a slew of tests.  His initial blood work indicate a heart attack as the enzymes in the blood is only produced when there has been trauma to the heart.  They will be admitting him.  Thankfully his friend Bobby came down to visit with him while he was at Emergency.  I am forever grateful to Bobby for his friendship with Franklin.  It still breaks my heart that I could not be there for him, but he was not alone.

Still I had to go down to see him AND I had to retrieve the car he drove down in.  Time to call in all the love and support from those who love me, my husband and children unconditionally…..my family.  I must put my pride aside an inconvenience everyone to help me.  To my parents, I ask them to watch M and L.  I hate having to ask my niece and her husband to help, but I do.  We’ll all drive down together.  They leave with baby and drive back to my place.  As luck would have it I had pumped milk the day before.  I visit with Franklin and then will go back home in the car he drove in.

I ask the triage nurse about Franklin and he tells me bed 4.  So as I walk through I hear “Code Blue in Emergency Bed 4” over the speakers.  Alot of commotion happening in that room on the other side of where I am.  Sadly I’ve been in emergency for Franklin’s health so many times I am not that fazed.  I continue on looking for his room.  I see room 1, room 3, room 5 and as I walk more my heart starts to freeze up. Oh. My. God.  Is that room that is coding Room 4?!  Is it Franklin?!?  I must have fear written all over my face at that very moment because a nurse asks if she can help me (which never happens.  either it’s because the are so busy, it is Emergency, or because I usually walk around like I know where I’m going).  I ask for Franklin and she says he’s in room 2 BED 4.  And just like that my world is still moving and I want to cry from relief.

I peek behind the curtain and Bobby is still there.  Yah!  Hours later and his buddy is still supporting him and giving him friendship.  Franklin’s BP is pretty crazy when I see one of the readings while I’m there.  I do my usual logging of details and inquire about dialysis.

  • 8:58 pm- Nurse Jess
    • 214/109, pulse 76
    • He’s on Nitro glycerin spray under the tongue and a patch (for twelve hours)
  • 9:02 pm
    • 182/100, pulse 76
  • 9:08 pm
    • Glycerin spray
  • 9:19 pm
    • 165/95, pulse 82
  • 9:33 pm
    • 166/99, pulse 74
  • 10:02 pm
    • 171/85

He is wheeled up to his room on the Cardiology wing.  I stay a bit longer.   I had to leave M and L for so many hours because I needed to see Franklin is ok and admitted to his room.  But with that done, I can no longer justly mah-fan (Chinese way of saying “bother” or “trouble” or “inconvenience”) everyone.  I’m sure my dad is tired.  The kids need to get to bed.  Baby needs food.  I have never been away from baby this long before.  It will still take me over an hour to get kids and go home.

I don’t know what I would have done without my dad, niece and her husband, and Bobby that day.  If you are reading this, Thank you so much for your love.  We could never do it all on our own.

The last week has been harder with me doing it on my own:

  • Franklin’s surgery and recuperation
  • Kids activities, school, breakfast and lunches
  • Newborn baby feedings, diapers

More on that when I can write again…

hiding being overwhelmed

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Life At This Moment – Overwhelming

  1. my love and prayers go out to you and your family Eleisa… you have one hell of a support system and you one hell of a woman.

  2. I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. I send you all much positive energy and wish a speedy recovery to Franklin. I send you specifically much love and wish you strength to prevail through these days. It’s understandably difficult and you must pace yourself to make it through your day. Enjoy the small things in the everyday and rest when you can. Always know you are not alone!!!! XxX

Leave a Reply to Evy Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s