We’re into the third trimester and it’s getting a bit harder.  Abut 2-weeks ago (30-weeks pregnant ) over the weekend I woke up and felt wet down there.  Enough I was filled with fear it was blood making my legs all wet and sticky as I reached down to feel and check what the hell it was.  For those few seconds every soul crushing dread of the times that I wiped after using the bathroom to find blood on the toilet paper from my in pending miscarriage filled my heart.  Not even enough time to pray.  I just touched and looked.  Relief.  No blood.

Kids are up and are hungry.  Hubby is still on the machine doing dialysis and will be very tired and hungry after. It’s up to me to feed the masses.  No time to dwell.  I make food.  Franklin’s done his dialysis, but feeling very rough.  I make him an egg, ham and cheese sandwich and bring it upstairs.  He will eat it in a minute.  He sleeps until 4pm.  I check on him throughout the day. Moaning, tossing and turning or snoring.  He needs to recover from dialysis and the work week of kids and school, feeding them breakfast, making their lunches,  after school snacks,  activities, dialysis, and just picking up the extra slack when I can’t deal.

I can’t remember if it was later that evening or the next day, but I do remember my belly feeling tight.  Uncomfortably tight.  I looked up Braxton-Hicks, because although I’ve heard of it before, I don’t recall having that with my other pregnancies.  I moan and tear up a little and just lie in bed wanting to sleep.  Tired.  So tired.  Franklin now up and takes care of the kids to get them ready for bed.

I am training Monday morning for the Summer Law student intake at the firm.  I have got to go in.

After training in the morning, I’m done by 1:30 pm.  I call into the Maternity Ward at the hospital and explain what’s happening.  A larger amount of liquid and tightness I’m not familiar with.  They tell me to come in and get monitored to be safe.  I’m relieved to get monitored and confirm that all is ok, but also afraid of what the results might be.  Unfortunately, there are no trains on my line since it’s not rush hour.  So, I take a bus and meet up with hubby.

I waddle in and get hooked up.   They strap the monitor on my belly and have me press the button every time a movement happens.  The doctors checks things out ‘down there’ and says the cervix is long and closed.  w00t!  Franklin has to get the kids from school, so I just send him to pick up kids and drop them off at my dads and then come on back.  I also have to go for an ultrasound.  There’s some waiting all around.  For the monitoring, the ultrasound, the results.  But, at the end of the several hours, baby is fine and I sniffle a few tears of relief.

Now to head home and hug my boys a little tighter tonight.