I was on the fence for a while whether I wanted to find out if we were having a boy or a girl.  Franklin not as much.  He wants to know this time.  After going for surprises with our first two and having challenges for the past few years, I can understand why he wanted to know this time.  I still wanted to keep the hope of a girl, mystery and guessing, so after the NIPT test that would give also give us 99% correct gender I closed my eyes as the OBGYN let him read the results.  I figured I’d find out at the 20-week ultrasound.  See it for myself on the screen.

For the first few weeks he didn’t let on what we were having.  I didn’t ask.  He didn’t tell…anyone. Not even his mom as I didn’t want anyone to spoil it for me by accidentally giving it away.  My dad was adamant about not wanting to know either.  It made me not want to know either.  Another big surprise in life.  We don’t get many positive ones as adults anymore.  The more I was guessing I thought I might want to wait until the birth to find out.

But, as we started talking names and I questioned everything Franklin said I have deduced we will be having a boy.  I feel 99% sure.    It came to the point Franklin didn’t want to talk baby anymore because I started questioning everything.  Finally I broke down and told him to tell me.  He wouldn’t!  He didn’t want to talk.  He wouldn’t tell me because he thought I didn’t really want to know.  I just want to be able to talk everything baby with him, so now I have decided to find out….today….at the 20 week ultrasound.  I am a little disappointed, but the 1% hope it’s a girl still shines a light in my doubt.  But, as the days have progressed I have accepted that boy or girl I am blessed to have my 3rd baby.  Miscarriages are an emotional and soul destroying moment.  When I think back to my angels I know that my second of disappointment is just silly.  I am blessed and I love him (maybe her) more than anything.

The kiddies are on March break and we’re going to bring them with us to the ultrasound to find out.  I’m so excited.  But, in todays day and age of gender reveals, I want a cool surprise.  I wanted Franklin to think of some cute way to tell me.  But, as I think more about it, I can’t think of a better way of finding out then looking at the baby myself….ideally at the birth, but to enjoy it with Franklin now…it will be at the ultrasound.  Now I wish he didn’t find out.  Maybe I shouldn’t let the kids come in to the ultrasound and do a fun Pinterest gender reveal ideas for them.

Time minus 30 minutes…..Any guesses?!?