I hurry out to press skin (only a hand shake thank you very much) with this hot Mr. Auditor at Jane’s desk before the big meeting.  Better I can flash him a friendly smile one-on-one so he doesn’t put my team in front of the firing squad first. These audits can go either way.  You can be out of a job or getting a promotion.  And with this project already over budget and over time for this quarter they’ll be looking for a scapegoat.  If I don’t fight for my slice of the pie, the training will consist of a single email out to the masses, but the scapegoat they need when this new process and technology doesn’t give them what they are looking for.

Dammit.  Jane’s already showing him into the boardroom.  I better get in there before all the buzzards pick him over.  I run my MS Access macro and wait by the printer.  Beep! Beep!  Fuck! No paper?!?  Ugh.  Why can’t people refill this thing?  I’ll just grab some paper from the other drawer.  Finally it’s printing.  This isn’t my stuff.  Cackler comes strolling over and says “Oh that’s mine.  Thanks!”. Bitch.  “You in this morning’s meeting, Vivienne?”, she asks all too cheerily.  “Yup.  I’ll see you in there.  Just getting my printouts”, I say trying to match her fakeness.  Beep!  Beep!  Printer jam?!?  Really?? Ugh.  I hate Mondays.  Fuck it.  I’ll just wing it.

As I enter the boardroom I see everyone has surrounded Mr. Auditor like he’s the high school football star where both guys and girls want to be with him.  “Hey Vivienne!  Come on over and meet…” Buzz! Ding! Buzz! Ding!  I look down on my phone and it’s my kid’s school.  I want to hit the ignore button, but I can’t.  I’m third on the calling list so they must need me.  I give the universal one minute sign just as Mr. Auditor was turning around to see who the Project Manager (PM) was calling over.  Missed seeing who he is again.  He looks so familiar.  Well, he’ll have to wait.

Me:  Hello.  Vivienne speaking

Caller:  Good morning Vivienne.  This is Lauren from your son’s school.  Your little guy is not feeling well.  He has been throwing up and probably best to rest up at home.  Can you come get him?

Me:  Thank you for calling Lauren.  Have you tried to reach my husband or his grandparents?  I’m all the way downtown and will take me a bit of time to get up there.

Caller:  Yes maam.  We’ve tried all the other numbers.  We can watch him until you get here.  How long do you think you will be?

Me:  Give me 30-40 minutes.  I’m on my way

Jeeze.  Did she really have to sound so testy?  Excuse me for working and trying to earn the extras for my kids.  Gymnastics, hockey, cooking and Komon classes costs money Miss. School Secretary.  Not sure if she’s being testy or is it my guilt from being so far away from the kids.  I like to label this working mama’s guilt.  I need to work, but the fact is I like working.  Getting away for a couple of hours.  Going out for coffees and lunch.

Guilt or no guilt.  My mama bear instincts kick in and I need to get the hell out of here.