Encapsulating Peritoneal Sclerosis (EPS) / Kidney Failure

Friendships and Kidney Failure – Hard to say goodbye to a close friend

Many friendships as adults start at work.  It’s where we spend a large portion of our waking hours.  But, very few traverse the office cubicle and into our personal lives.  Our real life.  And even for the few who successfully run through the obstacle course of everyday life that fills our days, it’s difficult to keep those friendships close, active, and real.  We’ve had many who have fallen to the wayside.

Having kidney failure and all the complications that come with it is a strain on any relationship, and friendship is no different.  Some people just don’t know what to say, act, or feel when faced with life threatening situations.  They don’t know what to say, and I don’t want to keep cancelling  plans with people…yet again.  Be it something serious as a hospital stay or because it’s just another ‘bad’ day.  Over the years there have been many many bad days.  We keep those complications to ourselves (except this blog where I vent, and in turn people know without being involved) and our family.  There are very few that are not blood relatives that I would feel comfortable calling and asking for help or Franklin would want them to know what’s happening.  I could count on one hand how many people Franklin would let me call and have them visit in the hospital.  Not because there’s he doesn’t have many friends who love him, but because he doesn’t want them to see him like that.  When will he accept that they love and accept him -dialysis, ESRD, EPS, golf everything, long hair and all.

There was one guy who made it through all the hurdles we face.  He was a happy talented musician who worked with Franklin years ago and his friendship over 10+ years filled an empty hole in our happiness.  He and his lovely wife were always invited to our important family events because he was a true friend.  He was on the ‘you can let him know what’s happening’ short-list.  He was one of those close friends that even though you hadn’t talked with each other in a few weeks/months, as soon as you connected, the jokes, happiness, and genuine friendship came through.  It takes 2 to keep the love alive, and even when Franklin was in a funk and wouldn’t call anyone, this rock star would call and call until they met up.  The boys even had plans to destroy the covenant tomorrow.  (gamer talk for my non-video game aficionados)

But, a sad sad day came upon us suddenly.  Our dear friend Paul Giammarco passed away this week.   He wasn’t supposed to leave this world…his wife…his parents…his sister…us…this early.  He was only 38-years old.     His voice still rings clear in my heart.  Fraaaaaaaankie….

During the visitation tonight Franklin met his parents and sister. He was amazed that they knew of him. Paul would talk about Franklin often and ironically it was Paul who worred about Franklin’s mortality due to his health. This makes it feel all so much more unfair. I fear the day that Paul’s loving wife is going through now. She is a strong woman and I pray for serenity and peace for her heart and soul.

Paul, thank you for not giving up on Franklin.  Thank you for loving him and giving him the friendship that he needs to keep his spirits up.  Thank you for being a genuine friend.

You will be missed Paul.  We love you.    Not everyone makes an impact in your life. Paul did in ours.  With every memory we have, story we remember, picture we see, guitar riff we hear, Paul you will always live on in our hearts.  Rock on in Heaven with your talents dear friend.

The 5 stages of loss and grief  – We are at Stage 1


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