I'll tell ya - Posts with Polls

Speed Dating

I’m lucky to have found Franklin 20-years ago.  We broke up a couple of times and I dated a few blokes.  Almost all had sex on the brain.  Some more shady than the next.  Dude, if I’ve just puked, I DO NOT want to still make out.  *shudder* And no, shoving cans of pop in my tiny purse when we go to the movies is just cheap.  *shudder*

Trying to find love can be difficult at any age.  But, opportunities can be slimmer as you get older.  And with today’s life who has the time or energy?  By the time you work, hit the gym, commute, keep in touch with friends what minutes are left??  When you’re in post-secondary education you’ve got study groups, different clubs, house parties, team sports, etc.   After you graduate, you still have can do all those things.  But, when you reach an age where you want to get married, have children, etc., it’s not always easy to find someone who wants the same things.  The house parties, the team sports, the socializing are fun times.  When do you have that ‘serious’ vibe?

I know several amazing single ladies and rather than settling, they are living life.  All the different chick-lit books have covered them.  Travel, clubs, rock-climbing, volunteering, etc.  But, one that seems more common lately is dating services.  One friend is on the brink of trying it out.  But, as she explains it, it’s not the early days of the speed dating where you sit at a table and people move when they hear a ding of the 2-minute bell.  She’d join different group outings that share a common interest.  Cooking classes, nature walk, etc. sounded promising.

Another friend who has tried it says she’s met all sorts of men.  You have to be open and guarded at the same time.  Another friend even has criteria of what birth order the guy is.  First born son vs youngest son.

Ugh…sounds all too hard.  What happened to meeting friends of friends at gatherings, weddings, etc.?  But, in the end I admire that they are still single because they haven’t lowered their standards and settled.  I’ve seen friends date, marry, and divorce.  Everyone goes into a marriage thinking this is their partner for life.  But, maybe some hope that they ‘little’ things will change once they get married.  They don’t.  If you don’t like it now, trust me, you’ll hate it later.

During our years of dating we were just not on the same page.  We loved each other, but sometimes one would love the other more than the other.  Then we’d flip.  We’d want different things in the future.  He wanted to hang more with his buddies where I wanted to spend more time with him.  I wanted to still party and he was done.  Then finally we were on the same page.

No one is perfect.  I get that.  I love my husband very much.  He’s the first one I want to call to share good or bad news.  But, there are things that urk me.  But, they are things I can live with.  Sometimes more than others.  But, with love, understanding, and compromise, we’ve been able to work through a lot of it.


2 thoughts on “Speed Dating

  1. Hi Eleisa – great to see you blogging again!

    Being married now, and in a relationship for almost 8 years, has really made me appreciate not being ‘out there’ in the dating scene. I know some people may think settling down to be boring, but for some of us, it is much more rewarding than the uncertainty of the dating game!

    • Thanks Gramblor! always great to have your insight and comments. settling down is boring to those in their twenties, but totally different in your 30s i think. i really didn’t think that but, the ‘biological clock’ really rang it’s alarm

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