So on Day 10 I was feeling pain where my kidneys are.  I thought maybe it’s just lower back problems because I do have an office gig.  But, it felt specific pain on the two sides where my kidneys are.  I was scared.  I remember the 80s and 90s where there was that big scare about body builders who used Creatine Supplements and ending up with kidney damage.  The pain in my lower back was enough to scare me.  But, losing/maintaining my weight felt good.  And I was just starting to adjust to the routine.  My stomach felt smaller, so eating smaller meals was actually filling me up. 

But, when I got home I saw Franklin prepping to do his therapy and right away I knew I would stop.  Seeing him get his needles ready to do HemoDialysis was all I needed to remind me that I have my health and that’s all I need.  I am not huge.  I’ve lost almost 30 lbs since Jan 2011 and I’ve kept it off.  And that was all on my will power and exercise. 

I googled how much protein women should have in her diet, does protein in diet shakes cause kidney damage, etc. and as usual you get both sides of the coin.  It is a fine line between enough and too much.  My niece wanted the powder since I was going to stop.  She said she’d like to give it a try.  But, I told her no.  If I wasn’t willing to do it myself, I just wouldn’t be in good conscience be able to give it to her.  God forbid something happened to her health.  I would die.  She and my other niece are the daughters that I never had. 

I have gained a couple of pounds.  But, I think that it’s because I have done way too many days of late night eating.  I have to stop eating after 7pm.  It helped so much.  I eat in moderation (most of the time), so it’s not like I’m eating huge amounts of food.  I just have to watch the times that I eat and get better snacks.  Damn you Smarties!  Who am I kidding.  I could snack on a box now.

My friend who is doing it lost so much weight in her first week.  Hopefully she’ll lose the weight to kick-start her healthy lifestyle change and stop after the 90-days ‘challenge’ without having any kidney damage.  I know I’m probably being overly cautious, but, I see what my husband goes through every night. And there is no way I am strong enough to do that.  I will love my body and just keep trying to get it a bit tighter.  I love my body, but I think every one wishes they could change something.  Be it a belly after giving birth to kids, boobs after breastfeeding your kids (which is worth it in my eyes to give them the best nutrition.  powder is close, but it’s man-made and expensive.  breast milk is natural and free. IMHO), eye job after too many late nights and early mornings, etc. 

Gravity is hell.