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Can a woman really have it all? -work, kids, husband, home, me

I am all for woman’s liberation.  Hear me ROAR!  Most days I feel like I can do it all.  Having success in my career, as a mom, as a wife, with my family and friends.  But, today, not so much.  It’s just not possible to be everywhere all the time.  Sorry kids, I can’t make you the heart shaped pancakes, I have to to go catch my train.  Sorry husband, I can’t cook dinner because I am out of the house 11-hrs a day and it’s too late and I am too tired when I get home.  Sorry parents, and friends, the little free time I do have I need to do laundry, house work, grocery shopping, make it up to my kids with whatever they want to do, and give some loving to my wonderful husband.  Forget about me-time in the list.  But, when I didn’t have any me-time for too many years.  It only leads to my ill-health, and then I can’t help myself or anyone else for that matter.  So, I did carve out 1-hr a week for Zumba.  For my physical and mental health.

Most days I feel like I have a handle on it all.  A career that was on the up, my kids giving me big hugs when I get home, a healthy love life, we had clean clothes and food in the fridge, saw my family weekly for dinner and poker, with all the grandkids together.

But, now I the career is a bit stagnant.  Taking 2 years off relatively close together hasn’t helped.  They say maternity leave doesn’t effect your job, I don’t completely agree.  There are new hotshots who try to outshine you while you were gone.  Although I am awesome at my job, I have been out of the office.  They can survive without me.  Not as well, but the world does still rotates.  Preferring my work-from-home days, rather than the more-money-higher-profile-less-flexibility positions is also not helping my success on that front.  I cherish the perk.  I am home to see the kids do their activities.  I get cuddle time I don’t usually get during the small window of me getting home and bath/bed time.  So, even when I get head-hunted or I see a position that sounds interesting, I have to remember what my priorities are.  My family.  Being part of my kids lives as they grow up.  I don’t want to hear about it when I get home.  I want to be part of it.  I want to see, feel, and participate in all their ups and downs.

It takes work to keep a relationship happy and healthy.  You can’t take it for granted, be lazy, and ignore the duties it takes to keep it going.  You have to make the time to keep in touch and connect.  Otherwise, you drift apart.  I can think of several friendships that have fallen to the way side because of this very reason.  Add in kids, a commute, a full-time job, and making time for your loved ones just got harder.

I realize I might sound like I’m a whiner.  All working-married-moms face the same challenges.  But, for me adding the dialysis sessions, I feel like the mountain is even higher for me to climb.  Suck it up buttercup.  It is a dual income society, and I chose to have children and live in a bigger home in the suburbs that I could afford.  I know.  I know.

You can’t have it all.  And if you are doing it, more power to you.  I know it’s a juggling act.  But, for me, remembering what my priorities are helps me from feeling down about not being uber successful in everything.  I am successful where it counts in my life.  My family.


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