4am.  LISA! LISA!

I figure everything’s ok since I wake up to see that Franklin is already sitting up.  I turn on the lights and there’s blood everywhere.  All over him.  All over the bed.  Some on the carpet.  Cue baby crying in his room.  It’s another blood bath.  Stay Calm.  Again.  Because he’s starting to freak.  Both of us freaking out is NOT going to help matters.

Relax Franklin.  Just lock it and we’ll clean everything up.

IT IS!  and blood is still coming out!

FUKC!!

The Venus line is out.  The one that pushes the filtered blood back into the body.  The arterial line (the one that pulls the blood from the body into the dialysis machine) has an alarm because if the dialysis machine cannot draw any blood, the machine will beep! beep! to let you know.  Maybe you’re just sleeping on your arm wrong and the blood cannot be drawn out.  But, the venus line (the one that pushes the blood back to the body) doesn’t have an alarm.  The blood is squirting everywhere, but the machine just figures it’s just going back into your body.  It wasn’t.

We slowly pull out both lines with shakey hands.  It’s hard enough trying to do, but even more so while baby is  screaming in the background.  In the back of my mind I just hope Marcus doesn’t wake up and come in to see this.  Franklin puts pressure to clot up and I go to get the baby.

Lisa, I feel dizzy. 

uh yah…you lost alot of blood, d’uh  (It’s my defense mechanism kicking in to maintain my sanity.  Sarcasm)  Just sit in the glider chair and I’ll clean up.

I hold the baby and strip the bed, clean the carpet, get fresh clothes for Franklin for after his shower.  The pillow has blood on it, and as I throw it off the bed it smears the wall. Greaaaaaaaat.  In an hour or so both my darlings are back to sleep.

You would think I would fall asleep exhausted too.  I’ve been up every day at 6am and now more of this.  But, I can’t.  I can finally let go and ‘freak’.  I cry quietly thinking of what could have happened.  But, finally fall asleep with the comforting thought that what could have happened didn’t happen.  Franklin is alive and with us.  He will be going golfing in the morning.

Life goes on.