Your Pain is My Pain

I wish I could tell you without telling you.  I see your pain but, not sure how to comfort you.  Do we bash the guy together about all his short comings?  Do I just hug you until you feel to hug back?  Do I bring it up once, when I know you will give me The Eyeballs, and we drop into a silence.  Then I do my monkey dance to do everything and anything to distract you.  I suspect I will try them all.  Anything to take away your hurt.

But, what I really want to do is yell at you.  Not necessarily you-you.  But, ‘you’ the female.  So many of us lose ourselves when we are in a relationship.  And the longer it goes on like this, you wake up one day and wonder who ‘you’ are.  Stop looking for them to full fill you.  You HAVE TO love yourself, and then theirs will just be icing on the cake.  But, remember.  YOU ARE THE CAKE!  Strive to reach for something that you haven’t achieved.  Be it a recipe, a marathon, learn a new dance, hang with new people, earn an mba, take a sewing class and make me a skirt (after you’ve made yourself one first of course;),  look for a better job, whatever!  But, just do.  Living life.  Loving yourself.  Is the remedy that will cure all.

I tell my ‘sisters’ this, but I am also preaching to myself.  It feels like a life time ago that I used to go dancing every weekend.  I’d meet new people.  Have plans to meet up with someone and everyone.  Laugh till I had tears.  Smiled for no reason other that I was that happy.  Even when Franklin was diagnosed with Kidney Failure, I still went out.  Shopped.  Looked freaking good.  But, lately I have given that all up.  I want to make sure everyone else is happy, looking good, and fed before I am.  Are the kids dressed with their cute clothes, and have their snacks and toys packed? CHECK.  Did I sign them up and bring them to all their activities?  CHECK.  Have I woken up at 6am everyday while The Husband goes to play golf everyday?  CHECK.  Great.  Now, let me just slick my hair back into a ponytail and run around like a chicken with my head cut off.  Wait!  I have 2-hrs free since Franklin will take the kiddies to the mall.  What do I do with myself?!  Nothing.  A bath.  A book.  A nap. Whoopee! (enter sarcasm here)  The $h!t is boring.  I have become boring.

Now, I tell this to you, as much as I’m telling myself.  Make yourself a priority!  Find SOMETHING TO DO.  For me, I will be going swimming at least 2-3 times a week and my goal is to reach 100 laps without stopping.  GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!  I don’t care if it is to just go and visit a friend for an hour.  DO IT!  You need to keep yourself busy.  Your bf/husband cannot be your only escape from boredom.  He will resent you becoming too dependent on him and you will resent him for not solving your boredom.  You will be doing your ‘thang’ and having fun that he will either join you or fade to the background.  Either way, YOU will be HAPPY and he will be there during or after to bask in your warm sunshine.  Everyone wants to hang with someone who is confident, happy, and kind.   You are that person.  I know I am.

I guess we all forget sometimes.  But, I’m here to remind us.  Women, you are smart, funny, confident, beautiful, kind, supportive, fun, happy, considerate, multi-tasking, warm, and wonderful.  Tell that to yourself at least once a day in the mirror as you get ready.   I’d rather be single then settle for anything less than what I deserve.  I will give you love, respect, consideration, appreciation, touch, and I want the little things that let’s me know you feel the same way.  Your hand to search out mine to hold.  To pull me close instead of having to reach out for you that is just a little too far.  That look of complete contentment when the smile reaches your eyes and lips when you look at me.  We all deserve that.  And we shouldn’t settle for anything less.  Love yourself enough to remember.  You are worth it.  And one day, he will be lucky enough to have the opportunity to show you.


Random heart stuff:
She can deal with stress and carry heavy burdens. She smiles when she feels like screaming, and she dances when she feels like crying. She cries when she’s happy and laughs when she’s afraid. Her love is unconditional. There’s only one thing wrong with her. She forgets what she’s worth! Love yourself first Ladies ♥♥♥♥

Maybe its true we dont know what we have unil we’ve lost it but maybe its also true that we dont know what we’re missing until we find it.

I’m the girl people always ask whats wrong, because since I’m usually so happy, it’s obvious when I’m sad. But I’m also the girl that always bounces back, no matter what, even if sometimes takes a while. I’m the girl that’s always going to love herself even if that boy doesn’t.

Every time I Want To Give Up On Him There’s Always Something Inside Teling Me To Just Give It Time.

looking back and what i’ve been through, i’d be a complete mess if i didn’t have you- Friends

I’ve discovered that throwing yourself all over guys and asking them out and flirting with them isn’t going to help you get a boyfriend. It’s the waiting, the times when you’re nearly going to give up because you’re done trying, that’s when he notices you. That’s what you need to wait for.
[© craazyyinlove]

Can you take me back to the person I used to be? Back when you were there for me; I know it seems like forever, but do me a favor please.
– A Rocket To The Moon

You don’t know me, you knew me. You stopped listening the moment I needed you most.

This is me praying that this was the very first page
Not where the story line ends
My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again
These are the words I held back as I was leaving too soon
I was enchanted to meet you
Please don’t be in love with someone else
Please don’t have somebody waiting on you
[Enchanted by Taylor Swift]

She can deal with stress and carry heavy burdens. She smiles when she feels like screaming and she sings when she feels like crying. She cries when she’s happy and laughs when she’s afraid. Her love is unconditional. There’s only one thing wrong with her,. She forgets what she’s worth.

You haven’t missed me for one fucking minute. You have never for one single second in your pathetic life missed me. You might have missed fucking with my head, and you might have missed the satisfaction you early got from demolishing me, but those are your emotions you’re messing with – not mine.

She’s the girl that has a few best friends and doesn’t need anymore, the girl that laughs the hardest at her own jokes. She’s the girl that will hang up on you, but then call you right back and say sorry. She’s the girl who will never leave your side when you need her, the girl who will go out of her way to cheer you up. She’s the girl who never sleeps without her teddy bear by her side, she’s the girl who says she isn’t ticklish, but really is. She’s the girl who will not give up on you if she really believes in you. She’s the girl who believes in loving somebody forever.

With you, it’s like I hold on for some reason, even thought every inch of me wants to let go.

Trying to see eye to eye, but it’s like we’re both blind.

It’s easier when I don’t see you, when I don’t hear your name. That’s why I don’t talk about you, and avoid looking at you in class. It’s not because I’m embarrassed, or ashamed about our past. It’s more that its a lot easier to move on without you there.


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