I have seen several long distance relationships lately and a few have failed, yet one blossomed into a beautiful marriage.   When people do not see each other or have daily contact, it takes commitment, effort, understanding, sacrifice, love, trust, and honesty.  So, I think.  I haven’t been away from Francois more than a couple of months due to traveling for work and we understood that we were together.  We did breakup a couple of times over the 20-years in the early days, but we understood that we were not together.  Even too much travel can be a strain.  Just means extra quality time.

Long distance is not limited to being in different provinces/countries.   It could mean different towns/cities.  It could mean being away for work frequently for extended periods of time.  You have to make an effort on both sides to stay connected.   Through phone calls, video chats, Facebooking, IM, post cards, love letters, whatever!   And both sides have to initiate it.   If they tell you they don’t have time, I think that should be a red flag.  People who are interested in your life MAKE the time.  Even a 2-minute quick one just to say I’m thinking about you.

When you don’t have contact for so long, it’s easy to forget.  I know the saying goes ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder’ only works for those who are fond of the other person.  When you like them, and not love them, it’s easy to apply the saying ‘Out of sight.  Out of mind’.

But, honesty above all else, no matter if you are living apart, or see each other all the time, will keep things healthy.  If you don’t want to be in the relationship any longer, than be honest to the other person and to yourself.  It’s time to move on and just be thankful that you were able to share the good days that you did have with each other.

Just don’t fool yourself in thinking we’ll keep it ‘casual’, but really, you’ve taken yourself off the market and not even dating anyone else.  You might waste months/years of your life.  But, even if you have, you’ll still come out ahead in life.  You’ve learned a life lesson to benefit the rest of your days.  What works for you.  What you want.  and most importantly, what you don’t want.

Have any tips that made your long distance relationship work?  Have any tips  that you learned from your failed long distance relationship?

Promise is a comfort to a fool

-Gregory Isaacs