Please do not talk directly at me.

Stinky breath.  Sometimes it’s you.  Sometimes it’s the other person.  How do you tell them without being offensive?  I know it’s me when I see someone do the old finger-under-the-nose bit.  Really?  The finger you’ve had up your butt smells better than my breath?  I better try to inhale while I talk with my stank mouth.  haha

Sometimes you just know your breath is not at its freshest.  You’ve had some garlic, durian, onions or the old smoking and coffee combo.  But, if you haven’t opened your mouth for a couple of hours because you’re working hard at your desk, then your mouth bacteria has built up.   You better hope the next person that you talk to is on the phone!

When someone offers me gum I ALWAYS take it.  They might be just being nice and sharing, but it could be that my breath stinks and I need it.  You should take it too!  I’m just saying…

On t.v. they always show people waking up in the morning and ‘getting busy’.  Is that real??  Morning breath is the most lethal of dragon breath.  The plaque.  The hours for the bacteria in your mouth to multiply.   Sometimes I will blow my bad morning breath to wake Franklin up.  Never funny to him.  Although I’m cracking up.  That’s love.  Or it’s been to gether too long.  Probably both.

What’s worse is when someone is a close talker that has bad breath.  You can feel their breath on your cheeks and the stink makes your eye water.  And to top it off, if they are an acquaintance or worse, at a job interview where you have to be pleasant, how do you fake it and still get the job?

If you are a good friend, I am not above calling you out straight up.  With an exaggerated “DAAAAAAAMN”.    That is a real friend.  Someone who will tell you when you need help.  Not, nodding polity and excuse myself to throw-up behind your back.

If you can’t tell me to my face, please offer me gum. 🙂