I love it & I hate it / Till death do us part - We're Married

Care TOO Much

Have you ever been infatuated with someone who you’ve forgotten who you are?  All of a sudden the activities, thoughts, and people who filled your days have changed.  Now, it is all about Him/Her.

When you’re a teenager or young adult it may happen very quickly.   One day you see your family every day and night.  Then BAM!  Your parents wonder if you live there anymore.  Maybe you lose yourself slowly.  You and your best friend would hang every other day.  Then slowly it’s once a week.  Then you only see them every other weekend.   And POOF!  They wonder if you’ve been kidnapped by your boyfriend because they never see you anymore.  When they do see you, it’s always “where have you been?”.

He used to come call on you every weekend, ring you down every night, and text you in between.   Now, you’re doing all the travelling, calling, emailing, and texting.  I get that you like him, but remember that every relationship is a bit of give and take.  If you’re giving all the time, sometimes you need to hold back and get some.  It is a cat and mouse game.  Thank gawd I’m not dating anymore, but when you are young you’re still figuring out what relationships are all about.  Is he worth your time and effort or is he just using you?

Young or old, even when things are not right, some still stay because they don’t want to be alone.  Valentines is right around the corner.  Or maybe it’s Christmas/New Year’s and you don’t want to be alone then either.  But, trust that you are not alone.  Be it God, your family, your friends, or even your pet, will give you a hug when you need it.  It’s way better than sticking around and wasting months/years of your life and maybe even wasting a better guy that may come along, but you’re too involved to see it.

Then suddenly you are not young anymore.  You’re married with children and you care only about them.  Clubbing?  I can’t even remember those days.  Even playing pool, dinner out, or movies with the ladies seem like distant memories.  I’ve put The Husband and Kidney Disease on top of my priorities for 10+years.  Then the kids trumped him and they’ve taken up the hierarchy.  Where does my sanity, sleep, and beauty time blend into this?  It hasn’t.  I’ve bailed on so many that I don’t bother to make plans or commit because I don’t want to bail yet again and disappoint people (but, if I’m honest to myself, I’m the one who doesn’t want to be disappointed). 

Now that Franklin’s more stable with his dialysis, I have joined Zumba.  Not a big deal to many, but for me it was one of my first commitments to myself to make ME a priority.  Remember that YOU are number one.  Why do you think air lines instruct that should the plane go down that you should fight every instinct to take care of your Precious and put the oxygen mask on yourself.  If you can’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of anyone else. 

So that I can have more patience with my kids, husband, and dealing with the bad days of Kidney Disease, I must not care too much to the point that I am not caring for myself. 

Remember that you must care about yourself, before you can really care about others.


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