Funny, how this particular title received the highest votes in my poll about what to blog about next. Many of you naughty readers probably thought it may have dirty desires like the current No Strings Attached movie starring Ashton Kutcher now. Everyone knows that you cannot have a ‘friend with benefits’ relationship, and think no one will eventually grow feelings. But, hey, maybe you are both married, have too much to lose, and have lost the spark in the bedroom. I”m just saying…HAHA You’ll just be dealing with a Fatal Attraction.
Actually, my No Strings Attached idea was inferring about items received for free from someone. It’s the plot for every mobster movie. They give you something and then BAM! They are calling on a ‘favour’ from you. And of course you are obliged to do whatever it is they ask, otherwise be labeled a greedy jerk for taking and not giving.
Well, I’m not sure what life you’re living, but I’m not dealing with mobsters. I am however a paranoid pessimist, so when someone offers something, I always have in the back of my mind “what do they want from me?” or more likely “what’s in it for YOU?”. Sure, we could always believe in the good intentions they have. And more than likely that is where their generosity is coming from. But, when their back is against the wall (and for some, just the opportunity), then they’ll start calling in all their good deeds. And I don’t want to be on that calling list.
Well, if you’re going to give something to me, don’t expect something in return. I will give you something because I want to not because I have to. And when I give you something it’s because I want to share with you, or help you alleviate some stress, or you might be helping me! I give you some clothes because I have a hoarding problem (are you a hoarder too? check out my Hoarder post) and have to clear out my closet. Giving something with no strings attached, be it sex, clothes, furniture, food,etc., can happen. Both parties will mutually benefit.
It’s just that pesky expectation that some have that will leave an ugly feeling. It’s happened one too many times and has left me jaded. I have moments of believing, but when I hear “well, I gave you….” I kick myself for being so gullible and naive to think they were giving it out of the kindness of their heart. I still believe that there are some selfless people out there, but if I’m honest with myself, I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop and they come calling for something.
To be forever indebted is too high a price for me. Let me give you EVERYTHING back. Ungrateful? Not from where I’m sitting, but perhaps your perspective feels different? I will not succumb to obligation nor public expectation. So, if you’re going to give something to me, give it with no strings attached otherwise you’ll be sadly disappointed when you come to call in a favour from me. And I’ll do the same.