Have you ever potty trained a kid?!? It’s my first time and man, are there ups and downs. And the downs are all gross!
M-Dawg: Can I use the potty mommy?
Me: Yes! Yes! Of course! Come, let me undo your onesy.
M-Dawg: (Runs over and puts his arms up to take it off)
Me: (thinks: off?? ummm..whatever….go with it)
M-Dawg: Look mommy! Look!
Me: Awesome! Amazing! Way to go buddy! You did it! You did it! Let’s call po-po and gung-gung and tell them! (grandmother and grandfather from mother’s side in Chinese)
M-Dawg: I get TWO wine gums mommy.
Me: ok. That was the deal. (how’d he remember that?!?) Now, let’s put your clothes back on.
M-Dawg: Noooooooooooo! (Run around living room naked for45 mins)
Marky Marc has taken off his PJs on the pretext of going to use the potty. It worked last time, so why not?
Frankie: I smell shit. Do you smell that? (Comes down the stairs after waking up)
Marky Marc: LANGUAGE DADDY!
Me: Yeah, Daddy. LANGUAGE! Maybe it’s your upper lip? (smirk)
Frankie: No Seriously. Marcus, did you poo?
Marky Marc: Nooooooo (giggles)
Frankie: What IS that?! Marcus, did you POO?!
Marky Marc: Noooo (giggles)
Frankie: (looks around and sees his PJs and underpants lying on the floor with POO in IT!) MARCUS!!
Me: MARCUS!! (Marky Marc turns to run away and now you can see his butt…that’s all I’m sayin’) DO NOT SIT ON THAT!! Get upstairs! Get upstairs!
Marky Marc: HA HA HA HA HA! (sits down)